I mean,I spent 45mins to an hour(i think!Must've been more...dunno exactly!) yesterday just typing my heart out on this post('A dilemma'),n in the process I even found out the correct spelling of the aforementioned title!
Hmmm.....so maybe because the comp at the office from where I was typing was slow and maybe that's the reason that i couldn't get the blog saved.
Anyways,this thing(blogging as the netizens call it)is something I am very sure about and also something I am very keen to continue.I know that even years later-maybe even 20 or 30 years later-when I am weary of my job and I just want to remember some old memories,I may turn to this-my blog-and refresh my memory.
It's said that people mostly remember the happiest moments in life,but in my case-even though I do remember the the 'most recent' happy moments in my life-I can't,for the life of me,and I repeat,I just can't remember the happy moments of my childhood.This perplexes me,because my elder bro, well, he can remember even the minutest details of even his early childhood(And when I mean early,boy do I mean it!I mean he remembers even the stages of his life when he was a wee toddler!)Also,whenever my mom asks me whether I remember anything about my days as a kid,I do tell her a few incidents.I mean I can go as far back as 5th standard or so sometimes,but all the memories before that,well, they just don't come back to me!!!Why?Dear lord,why?!?!Why can't i remember.Well, for all I know ,I may even find out the root cause of my problems somewhere back there(In my childhood,I mean).
Also,even though I acknowledge that I have a problem,I'm also fully aware that I don't acknowledge it completely!!Simply because i just like to wallow in my problematic situation, instead of finding a cure for it.Most of the times I also keep blaming others for my situation.
Maybe my main problem was that I always craved for my parents affection ,but I got in bits and doses from my dad,but whole-heartedly and completely form my mom.That f****** confused me a lot!
Also life did take me places!Phew!Here's a list of all the houses I've lived in from the time I was born.
1989-Chembur,
1990-Andheri,
1990-Malad,
1993-Lok Puram(Thane),
1993-Arjun(Thane),
2001,2002-Sangli,
2003,2004-Arjun(Thane),
2004-Palash,2005-Amaltas(Thane),
2005-Garden Enclave(Thane),
2007,2008,2009-Pune,
2010-Garden Enclave(Thane),
2010,2011,2012-Pune(future),
2012-????
Wish I had a more stable life n a more stabler mindset.
Hey!OK!That's it!I've had it with myself,now I'm starting to blame not just my circumstances,but also my surroundings!
Why am I always in doubt?!?!?When will I stop blaming others?!?!
The only guy having the answers to these questions lives high up above!!!
Hmmmmm.......will have to go up to the terrace of my building and get those D*** answers out of him someday!
Till then,hope I get more confidence to get through life by blogging about my sad-a** life and all it's stupid problems!
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